The Final Fundraising Push

As you all know by now, we’ve officially been matched to adopt a baby boy in early December! We are so excited to welcome this precious child into our family! We also love our birth mama. She is a strong, courageous, and loving woman. She’s had a hard go of things, particularly in the last year or so. We really want this adoption to be a blessing for her and her family, and an opportunity to start fresh.


Because of the amazing support of our friends, family, and church, we’ve been able to pay for all the adoption expenses so far without any problems. We are so thankful for your generosity!


That being said, at this point, we’ve come to the end of the funds we’ve raised so far, and still have expenses that need to be covered, and soon. We need to come up with another $4,000 to pay for the remainder of the adoption expenses, plus another $3,000-4,000 for our travels to pick up the baby in Florida. We’re looking at another $6,000-7,000 that need to be raised in the next month at the longest, if not the next few weeks, and it’s pretty overwhelming.

We’ve applied for several adoption grants, but we may not hear back on any of them for several more weeks. We will take out a loan if we need to, but we’d really like to avoid that as much as possible since Lynsey will no longer be working once we bring our baby home.


We have been overwhelmed by the support we’ve received throughout this process, and it’s incredibly humbling to have to ask for more.


If you’re local to us, our church’s annual cider press event is this Saturday, October 29th, from 10am-2pm at Sanctuary Church in Gresham. For more information, and to reserve your cider, visit the Pressing Needs website. This year's cider press fundraiser will be supporting a foster care ministry, as well as two adoptive families, including ours.


If you aren’t local, or would just like to make a direct donation to our adoption account, you can use PayPal or YouCaring to do so. If you'd like your donation to be tax-deductible, you can write and mail a check to Gresham Bible Church with "Bock Adoption" in the memo line.

If 300 people donated just $20, we'd have what we need. Obviously, some people can't afford that much, and some people can do more. If you can contribute any amount, we'd be incredibly grateful.

Love,

Jason & Lynsey

Announcing the Run, Baby, Run! Virtual Race for Adoption

It's been a while, but we're excited to announce our next official fundraiser:

Run, Baby, Run! Virtual Race for Adoption

In a virtual race, you will walk or run your chosen distance whenever you want and wherever you want. In the Run, Baby, Run! Virtual Race for Adoption, your participation will help us bring home our baby! Choose from 5k, 10k, or Half-marathon distances and complete the race anytime between Saturday, April 2 and Saturday, April 9. 

In addition to being a part of giving a child a forever family, there are also two ways for you to win prizes as a participant:

Get Sponsors: Ask your family and friends to sponsor you to race! You can collect cash or check (payable to Gresham Bible Church, Memo: Bock Adoption) donations. View the virtual race on Facebook for event updates and to download the form to track your fundraising. Everyone who raises $100 or more will win a t-shirt, and the person who raises the most will win a $50 Amazon gift card!

Not the exercising type? Choose the 0k option! If you raise $100 you can still earn a t-shirt! No sweat required!

Guess Your Time: Before you race, submit your guess for how long it will take you to travel your selected distance. The most accurate guesser will win a $25 Amazon gift card!

Most domestic infant adoptions cost between $25,000-$50,000! Our goal for this fundraiser is to raise $5,000 toward those costs.

Learn More and Register here.

January 2016 Adoption Update

Oi! I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post an update on where we are with our adoption. Here's the lowdown:

Fundraising

We've made amazing progress in our fundraising in the last several months! Here are the highlights:

Cider Press/GBC Adoption Fund
$12,520 $13,814!

The generosity of our church family has been amazing and humbling. In October we pressed about 600 gallons of apple cider, and raised close to $10,000 from selling cider, craft items, and other goodies. We are immensely grateful to everyone who volunteered at and attended this event! 

The rest of the money in our account in the GBC adoption fund has been generously donated by many members of the church body. Thank you!

Premier Designs Jewelry Party
$220

My friend and Premier Design jewelry lady, Abi Liezen, threw us a "Blingin' Home Baby Bock" jewelry party in November. It was a lot of fun, and I'm extremely grateful to everyone who attended and bought jewelry, and to Abi for her support!

Other Donations
$6,000

We also received more donations from family members and friends outside over church, which have added greatly to our funds as well. I can't say it enough: the generosity we've experienced throughout this process has been deeply humbling. 

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All told, after what we've already had to spend on home study and agency fees, we have about $23,000 over $24,000 available for our adoption right now. This puts us a lot closer to our goal, although there's still a ways to go. We actually won't know the official total until we get matched with a birth family and child, but we estimate needing at least another $10,000. 

The Waiting Game

We get A LOT of questions about where we are in the adoption process. Right now, it's really just a waiting game from here on out. We are currently waiting for our profile to be viewed and selected by the right birth family. That could happen tomorrow, or it could be many many months from now. The only control we have over this part of the process is deciding which families see our profile. We make these decisions prayerfully, based on whole lot of factors, including where they live, medical information, and if the situation fits our adoption budget. When we see a situation that might be a good fit, our profile is presented to the birth family along with profiles from other potential families. The birth family is able to choose who will parent their child.

As far as what happens next once we're matched...

If a birth family selects us, how fast things move after that point will depend on when the baby is due. We could have several months to prepare, or just days or hours! In cases where the baby isn't due right away, we may travel to visit the birth family before the baby arrives, just to get to know each other and make things more comfortable. It's important for us to get to know and build trust with the birth family. This will help ensure that our future child has the opportunity to have a healthy and loving relationship with their birth family if they desire. We will mostly likely be able to share general information with our friends and family once we've been matched, such as the gender and approximate due date of the child, but sensitive information about the birth family will remain private.

When it's time for baby to arrive, we will travel to be there either at the birth, or after (depending on birth family preferences and our own ability to leave at a moment's notice). In most states, the birth family will have at least a few days to sign the final paperwork. We won't be able to announce a name or share pictures of the baby until after consent, because it's not our right to do so before that point. Once the consent is signed, baby will released from the hospital, and we'll get legal permission to travel home!

Photos by Thomas Slawson, Kelsey Willard, and Lynsey Bock

Drumroll Please...

Our Home Study is Finally Done!

DONE!

A process that was meant to take two months ended up taking four, but it's finally over! Because of a lot of needless delays, this part of the process has been extremely frustrating. We're glad to have it behind us!

The most frustrating part about our home study taking so long is that it means we're now trying to get agency and grant applications together at the same time I'm heading back to work to start the new school year. Ugh. Over the summer I would've had lots of time to get them out the door quickly, but at this point it's probably going to take a few weeks. At least we were able to get our profile books printed, so those will be ready to go out with the agency applications just as soon as they're ready!

Fundraising Progress

We had two fundraisers this summer: the Adoption Yard Sale and the Paintball Fundraiser at Echo Field in Scappoose. 

Yard Sale

Only about a third of the stuff that was donated.

The adoption yard sale was crazy and overwhelming and happened on a ridiculously hot day, but it was also amazingly successful! We raised about $2,100 on the day of the sale, and have sold and additional $785 worth of left-over items since then. That brings the current total to $2,885 raised through this fundraiser, and we still have a few more things to sell! Sweet! (I can't wait to get all that stuff out of our garage!)

Paintball Fundraiser

Our dear friends Jennie and Trigg happen to have a really awesome paintball field on their property, and they graciously offered to host a paintball fundraiser for us! It was a super fun event, and we raised over $400! I told Jason that this is probably the most violent adoption fundraiser ever!

Total

We've had other donations trickle in through our puzzle fundraiser and the adoption fund at our church. That brings our current total of funds raised to.... I'm not quite sure yet! Jason is off hunting right now and I'm not much of an accountant, so I'll save the official tally for later! Since it's been so long since I've posted an update, the total has definitely jumped up quite a bit though!

What's Next

Cider Press 

As we're preparing our agency and grant applications, we're also busily preparing for our church's annual cider press fundraiser for adoption. I helped out with the pressing last year, and it was a lot of fun! The cider is delicious, and there's a craft and bake sale as well, along with other fun activities. Since this event is officially put on by our church, there's actually a website for it where you can get more details and even pre-order your cider or sign up to volunteer! We need lots of volunteers to help with making the cider on October 1st & 2nd, and even more people to come buy it on October 3rd, from 10am-2pm! I'll have more specific details later, but those are the highlights!

Home Study Progress & Fundraising

Home Study

On Wednesday of last week, we got a phone call from our social worker asking if we could do our home visit on Sunday. We were a little caught off guard by the short notice, but we agreed. Our frantic preparations kept us quite busy for the days leading up to the visit, so we were a little stressed by Sunday afternoon. Thankfully, the social worker's visit went very smoothly.  

With that done, we still need to get fingerprinted, do 10 hours of adoption education classes, get physicals, and fill out some last paperwork. After that, our social worker will compile all of the information into a written document (the home study), and that will go on to be approved. After that, our profile book can go out to birth families!

Yard Sale

Thank you to everyone who has donated to our garage sale! We're still collecting items to sell, so if you have any gently used, saleable items that you'd like to get rid of, contact us to arrange a drop-off or pick-up. We're also still looking for volunteers to help with the day before (Friday, June 26th) and day of the sale (Saturday, June 27th), so let us know if you'd be willing to donate your time!

Cutting Boards

Jason had a great stroke of luck a few weeks ago when he was visiting a construction site for work. The site he was visiting was removing a deck made of the most beautiful mahogany. The wood was in decent shape and was just going to be tossed, so Jason got permission to take it off their hands. After looking the wood over, we suspect that it's Cuban mahogany, which is rather rare and valuable, Jason's brother Shawn helped him figure out how to turn the wood into some absolutely gorgeous cutting boards that we're going to sell as another fundraiser for the adoption. 

The boards are made from the reclaimed mahogany, along with maple and a little walnut. Based on comparable items that we've seen on Etsy, we're selling the end-grain cutting board for $80, and the edge-grain boards for $50. Contact us if you're interested in buying one of the boards we have left for sale, or if you'd like to pre-order one. Jason will be making more of the edge-grain ones in the coming weeks.

Fundraising Total

We've raised a total of $4,256 and are at 85% of our initial fundraising goal ($5,000) and 14% of our overall goal ($30,000). Thank you to everyone who's contributed! 

Click below to donate directly to our adoption fund and get your name on our adoption puzzle:

 

Adoption: Entering the Paperwork Phase

Profile Book

Our profile book is finished! We just received the digital version of it today, and will be able to order prints to mail out to different adoption agencies as soon as our home study is complete. Our adoption consultant, Renee, did an amazing job putting the profile together for us! Here's a sneak peek of one page from our book:

Home Study

We just received the initial paperwork for our background checks! This is the first of many steps (with tons of forms to fill out) that will result in a completed home study (basically a document that certifies that we are fit to be parents to an adopted child). I haven't been this excited about filling out paperwork since we signed our marriage license!  

Adoption Yard Sale

Thank you to all of you for setting items aside for our adoption yard sale (June 27th)! We've already gotten some really nice (and a few rather interesting...) items to sell to raise funds to bring our baby home. We're happy to accept donations at any time leading up to the sale, but have limited space to store larger items at this time. If it's at all possible for you to store some of the bigger items for the time being, that would be greatly appreciated!

Funds Raised

We've raised a total of $4,056 and are at 81% of our initial fundraising goal ($5,000) and 13% of our overall goal ($30,000). Thank you to everyone who's contributed! 

Right now we're about $1,000 short of what we need to pay for our home study and the remaining application fees required before our profile book will even be seen by any expecting parents. If you've been thinking about donating and just haven't had a chance yet, now would be a great time! A donation of any size would really help us to continue moving forward in this process. 

Click below to donate directly to our adoption fund and get your name on our adoption puzzle:

Infertility Awareness Week: Choosing Words that Heal

April 19th-25th is National Infertility Awareness Week. In honor of that, I wanted to take a moment to share a little about our experiences with infertility, adoption, and how the words of others have impacted our journey. 

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 12:18

Words that Hurt

As most of you are probably aware, our decision to adopt at this time in our lives was partly prompted by fertility problems. Although adoption has been a part of our vision for our family since we were dating, our initial plan to have biological children before adopting wasn't feasible. That became apparent not long after we began trying to get pregnant back in September 2012. 

Infertility is heartbreaking in a lot of ways, but none more so than in the ways that the careless words of others can pierce the heart. The little comments, questions, and jokes are always innocent enough: 

• "You should think about giving your parents some grandchildren to enjoy."
• "When are you guys going to have kids?"
• "There must be something in the water at this church: the women are always getting pregnant!"

So many people said things like this to us, not realizing that we were having trouble conceiving. There was no way for them to realize the hurtful impact of their words: the grief they were piling onto my aching heart. It's already hard watching our friends become parents (or continue adding to their families) without us, but the pain is magnified by poorly chosen words from others.  This is why infertility awareness is so important.

1 in 8 couples (or 12% of married women) have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy, and most of them choose to keep their struggles private. That means that you probably know several couples who have infertility, or have dealt with it in the past, even if they've never told you about it. You probably also have friends who've lost pregnancies who may be similarly sensitive to the subject. You could easily make an "innocent" comments, deeply wounding someone without realizing it. 

Even though we've chosen adoption, the subject of pregnancy is still very difficult for us.

The responses we’ve received about our plans to adopt have been overwhelmingly positive, and that’s been very encouraging to us. Sadly, some people inadvertently open up old wounds with their words, particularly with a certain comment we hear frequently:

“As soon as you adopt, you’ll get pregnant.”

Honestly, when I hear this, I try really hard to take it the way it was intended. I think they’re trying to say that they’re happy for us, and that they share in our excitement over adding children to our family. Whether we adopt again later or are able to have biological children, we will rejoice in seeing our family grow. Do I want to be able to get pregnant? Absolutely. Have I totally given up hope that I ever will? Not at all.

Still, there’s another side to that statement: a side that, intentionally or not, is hurtful, because it perpetuates negative perceptions of adoption and infertility.

It suggests that adoption is a means to an end

Adopted children are not fertility charms. We are not adopting to become pregnant; we are adopting to become parents. Even if we wanted it to work that way, there isn’t any scientific evidence to suggest that adoption increases pregnancy rates at all. For couples experiencing infertility,the “spontaneous cure rate” (getting pregnant without further treatment) is only about 5%. Every case of infertility is different, and there’s still a possibility that we could get pregnant later, but adopting will not impact our fertility one way or the other.

Certainly we would be thrilled if we became pregnant, but we aren’t counting on it. You’re welcome to pray for that kind of miracle! If it’s God’s will, it will happen.

It suggests that infertility is an attitude problem, not a biological one

This is a mindset that’s been hurtful to us since we started having trouble conceiving. Often, when we chose to confide in  people about our infertility, their response would be something along the lines of:

“Just relax! It’ll happen!”

I think this is supposed to be reassuring, but for someone struggling with all of the stress and heartbreak of infertility, it often feels like an accusation: “Your anxious mindset is preventing you from becoming pregnant. It's all your fault.”

What was meant to be encouraging feels more like rubbing salt in a wound.

We are thrilled to be adopting, but that doesn’t mean the pain of infertility is gone. It is still a very real part of our lives. Every time our friends announce their pregnancies, or post pictures of their babies, there is a part of me that aches for the dreams we had for our family. The reality is, we may never have biological children. God is reshaping our dream for our family, and it will be better and more beautiful than the dreams we had for ourselves, regardless of whether we have biological children or not.

It suggests that adoption is second best

Adoption is not just a “Plan B” for us, or some kind of “consolation prize.” It may be happening sooner than we expected, but we are not at all disappointed to be adopting. In fact, the choice to move from fertility treatments to pursuing adoption was a joyful one to make. Feel free to share in our joy!

Words that Heal

I realize that no one intentionally tries to hurt us with their words, and I would hate to pile a bunch of guilt on to anyone who inadvertently made such comments to us. My hope is simply to share our experiences and raise awareness so that others will be more thoughtful about their conversations with us and anyone who might be struggling to conceive.

I can't speak for couples facing secondary infertility (infertility after having one or more previous successful pregnancies) but I do have one one suggestion that may help you navigate this subject with couples who don't have children and may be dealing with fertility issues: tell them they will make great parents.

This is a thoughtful compliment and a gentle way to broach the subject without being intrusive or insensitive. The listener has the option to respond with a simple "thank you", or to delve further as they feel comfortable. It's also very reassuring. I can't tell you how many times I've wondered whether our troubles conceiving are a sign that we aren't meant to be parents because we'd be bad at it, and I believe other infertile couples may feel this way as well. A sincere encouragement in this area is always welcome. 

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

For more thoughts on National Infertility Awareness Week, check out #niaw on Facebook and Twitter.